ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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