I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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