I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
