i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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