I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
