Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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