i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
