T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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