What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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