i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
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You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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