You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
