so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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