Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
