so explain again why im purple
no
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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