WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize