did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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