So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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