some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
