the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
