I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
