is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
