my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
