im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
