in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
