I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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