I hate your face
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
