I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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