i don't like sucking hair
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
