chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
