Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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