4 words: hood of his car
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
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