My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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