my mouth tastes like poor choices
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
