We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
