dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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