I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
