yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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