So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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