i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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