Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
