I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
