Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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