i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
