true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
