and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
