doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
