Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
