What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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