I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
