U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize