Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize