I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
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