He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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