K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm like, not good at living.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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