I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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