we made out on top of his cat.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
