Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
