I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
