i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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