Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
this beer tastes like vomit already
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
