How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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